Something I meant to post during my FW level 2 but forgot about: There were several occassions that I saw this caregiver constantly yelling at his son to pick up his left leg. With every step he took, his father kept yelling lift up your darn left leg as he sorta pushed him along, stop dragging it, #$%@*! I felt extremely bad for him. What I should have done was ask the therapist if she had ever talk to the caregiver about caregiver burden and destressing techniques or something to that effect instead of only encouraging the patient along. I didn't understand why the caregiver could be so cruel.
Days go by, FW is almost over but the stress increases because I must perform perfectly, my mom's health was declining which meant the more demands on me to take care of her, deadlines for graduation and application for NBCOT, and the pile gets higher. I found myself stressed out and snapping at my mom. "Stop compensating and limping, bend your knee, you'll mess up your hips if you do that!" I realized that I was doing the same thing the other caregiver was doing, snapping! So I stepped back and checked in with myself on why I was acting the way I was. It was not only the stress but also the fear of losing my mom because her health was just declining. I was acting out of anger. I wasn't angry at her but at the disease...the osteoarthritis, glaucoma, cataracts, etc. I calmed myself down but still full of emotions and explained to my mom that when I snap, it's not because i'm mad at her but mad at the disease, that I didn't want to see her in such pain...i didn't want her to hurt anymore. Ever since then, I haven't snapped because I've learned to check in with myself when I feel that snappiness coming up, take my deep breaths, and go to my calm place.
I'm happy to say that my mom is doing better now too.
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